Jokes About Gambling
Gambling Sayings and Quotes. Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old gambling quotes, gambling sayings, and gambling proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources. Following is our collection of Casino jokes which are very funny. There are some casino solitaire jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers,. Classic Gambling and Vegas One Liner Jokes Posted on Aug 9th Jul 21st by Chuck Buzzberry Following on from our recent posts about the fun of having a crack at winning big playing casino games, bingo and poker online we have a few classic one liners for you.
This compilation contains some of the best quotes we could find related to gambling, luck and money.
Since humans have existed they have gambled away their fortunes, and it is probably the fate of man to continue gambling so long as there is anything left to bet on…
Gambling and Luck Quotations
These quotations are sorted chronologically and appear quite representative of gambling as it has developed over the last 2,000 years or more…
when preparation meets opportunity.
Seneca
(ca. 4 BC – 65 AD; Roman philosopher, dramatist, and writer)
All the best gamblers do.
Baltasar Gracián y Morales
(1601-1658; Spanish Jesuit, writer, and philosopher)
our time and treasure:
two things most precious
to the life of man.
Owen Feltham
(1602-1668; English essay writer)
think of saving
as well as getting.
Benjamin Franklin
(1706-1790; American politician, scientist, inventor, and statesman)
Casino Puns
and I find the harder I work
the more I have of it.
Thomas Jefferson
(1743-1826; American third president of the United States)
decide upon three things at the start:
the rules of the game,
the stakes,
and the quitting time.
Chinese Proverb
that it will change.
Bret Harte
(1836-1902; American author and poet)
in holding the best
of the cards at the table;
luckiest is
he who knows
just when to rise and go home.
John Milton Hay
(1838-1905, American statesman, diplomat, author, and journalist)
looks with austere disfavor
upon the business known as gambling.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842-1914; American journalist, writer, fabulist, and satirist)
Casino & gambling riddles
Solving riddles can be as rewarding as a winning hand of blackjack with the basic strategy. We’ve decided to take a look at some of the most common riddles about gambling and casinos and detail the answers below. See if you can figure them out before reading the answers – then you can take them to the tables yourself and distract your fellow players as they try to crack them. Or check out the best online casinos for Australians.
The casino players
Riddle: There are four men who sit at a casino all night long and play until the crack of dawn. They are there for money instead of fun with a separate score for every one.
When it is time to square the accounts, they each make fair amounts. No one lost, and all gain – can you you explain?
Answer: Each man is a musician for the casino’s entertainment.
A mysterious gambling association
Riddle: A large group, each with a different face – regularly in smaller groups of four with identity as your case.
The first group will bring a desire of wealth – to steal though is tough and requires stealth.
The second group distract you and lead your mind astray, but don’t let this happen or your life will pay.
The third group can be utilised to take a life, without even using a gun or a knife.
The final group can be used to hide a man who just happened to have died.
Now if you were paying attention, what is this mysterious association we mentioned?
Answer: A pack of cards – each clue describes the four suits of a deck.
- First group – Diamonds, as they make you wealthy but are very hard to steal
- Second group – Hearts, as they can lead you astray
- Third group – Clubs, these are weapons which can be used to kill people
- Fourth group – Spades, which can be used to cover up a murder by burying a body
Heads or tails
Riddle: A gambler has three coins in his hand – the first is a regular coin, the second has two heads, and the third has two tails. The gambler picks a coin at random, flips it, and the result is heads.
What is the likelihood the other side is tails?
Answer: Since there are three heads and only one has a tails on the other side the likelihood is one in three – more of a mathematical problem than a riddle but fun to crack nevertheless.
First to gamble with dice
Riddle: Who were the first people to play with a pair or dice?
Solution: Adam and Eve in Pairadice.
A BlackJack
Riddle: A man visited a local land-based casino and on his first hand he managed to get a blackjack, while the next hand he lost. He then got another hand with a blackjack and the next hand he lost again. He ended up leaving the casino having lost every single hand and with no winnings at all – how is this possible?
Answer: The first hand featured a Jack of Spades and his third hand featured a Jack of Spades, both of which are black Jacks.
A classic riddle for a classic casino game
Riddle:
The game is nice if you see pictures thrice. It bears fruit of trees, sometimes in threes. It is just an arms length in front of you, what is the game?
Answer: A pokies machine.
A simple riddle but a risky wager
Casino Jokes Funny
Riddle: What does this say? Or nothing. Or nothing
Answer: Double or nothing.
Jokes About Gambling
< />>Poker face
Riddle: What is the weakest hand in a game of Texas Hold’em, which you can have but still end on the river with a guarantee of victory?
Answer: Three Queens. For example, if you hold a Queen of Hearts and a Queen of Diamonds, and the board is showing Queen of Diamonds, Jack of Diamonds, seven of Clubs, four of Clubs, and two of Hearts, you can’t be beat. A straight or flush isn’t possible and no rank is higher than your Queens to allow someone to hold a better three of a kind.
The identical pokies
Jokes About Gambling
Riddle: A man owns a small casino with 50 pokies, each identical in appearance and the way they function. They all have the same return to player percentage. However, when the man goes to check the pokies at the end of the day there’s one machine which has 25% more in winnings than the others. What is different about this pokie compared to the others?
Answer: Nothing – it ultimately comes down to the human factor and that more people must be playing it and losing.